Thursday, December 29, 2016

Please Don't Join A Gym, Overhaul Your Diet, Quit Smoking And Drinking

I know you have your New Year's Resolution List ready to kick 2017's butt!, But wait... take a look at what I wrote over at our CrossFit Murray blog. 

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

I Am Accepting Applications!

Hey Y'all!

I'm currently accepting applications for the following position:

Gym Caddy

Responsibilities include:

Loading/unloading my barbell during weightlifting work- If I expend energy loading and unloading my barbell, that's less energy I have for my workout. The ideal candidate will be fluent in both metric and U.S. customary units.

Setting up equipment- The time before a workout needs to be spent mentally preparing for the task at hand and emptying the bladder. My gym caddy will allow me to do such things by setting up all needed equipment prior to my workout. This could include boxes, jump ropes, abmats, kettlebells, barbells, etc. 

Knowing my abilities- My gym caddy must know all my maxes, my preferences for rig stations, barbells and boxes, and my capabilities for any given workout. This ties into the duties listed above as the ideal candidate knows precisely what I need for any wod and he/she will generally not need to question me as to which weight and/or size equipment I need. 

Ensuring I have chalk at all times- The gym caddy will be held responsible for ensuring that I am never more than 3 feet from a solid piece of chalk. Minimum dimension on said piece of chalk is 1x2x3. 

Mixing/presenting pre workout drink- Pre workout hydration and supplementation is incredibly important and my gym caddy will ensure that I am ready for the day’s work. Caddy will be expected to know whether the day’s work requires stimulant-type pre workout, supplement-type pre workout or a mixture of both.

Preparing/presenting post workout nutrition- Gym caddy will have the post workout nutrition ready for consumption within 15 minutes of workout completion. The meal or drink will already be planned/packaged by me, caddy may need to assemble and/or heat.

Counting repetitions- Gym caddy will be responsible for ensuring an accurate rep count of all movements. Whether it’s 5 reps or 50, he/she must ensure I do not lose count.

Other duties as dictated. Could include cheering and motivating, mopping up blood/sweat/urine,  playing the role of a child in CF kids classes,  fetching towels, turning on fans, turning off fans, etc.

This position is open immediately. Hours vary based on time of year and my mood. Salary is non-existent however; I write excellent letters of recommendation and will gladly lobby for MSU credit hours for the right candidate. Please send resumes to

**Please note: this is a joke**

**Unless you like to work for free**

Stay Strong Y'all!

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