Thursday, October 23, 2014

What the hell? Do I look like I work here?

We just arrived at the hotel and are rolling our luggage in. I think I am dressed "travel chic" with leggings, a tank, and a button up shirt tied up at my waist and Uggs on my feet. This beautiful, tall girl wearing Lilly stops me in the lobby and asks if I "work here?". Um, really?
Apparently my "travel chic" is really housekeeping.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

No, Kroger, I'm not highly satisfied! And it's ok!

I think Kroger has some confidence issues. I mean, they are kind of needy and whiny.

On my recent shopping trip this week, I was offered 50 fuel points in return for completing a survey of my shopping experience. Ok, sounds good to me.

The survey started by asking what departments you shopped and then proceeded to ask my satisfaction level with each department. The options were highly satisfied, satisfied, neither satisfied nor dissatisfied, dissatisfied or highly dissatisfied.

Apparently, if you are merely, "satisfied", that gives Kroger a complex and you get inundated with questions about WHY you were not highly satisfied.

Well, let's see. It's a grocery shopping trip, not sex, so is it possible to be "highly satisfied?" No one grabbed my list at the door and then directed me to a massage table while they gathered my goods. I didn't see any Segways for me to race around the store on. I was not offered an adult beverage and given 50% off my total.

And worse, sweet potatoes were $1.29 per pound! $1.29! Of course I'm not highly satisfied!

Did I get what I came in for? Yes, pretty much, satisfied. Did I get EVERYTHING on my list? No, actually Kroger I couldn't find the cacao nibs, but it's ok. I'm satisfied.

Due to your responses, may we have your contact information so we can follow up with you? Um, ok, but I was SATISFIED.

I can't imagine what happens if you click highly dissatisfied.

PS I found the Cacao Amazon.

**affiliate link above**

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Eating for your goals isn't sexy

As a coach, I'm always having people ask me diet and nutrition questions. Generally, it's ladies that point to their tummy area and ask, "How do I get rid of this?" I don't know what they expect me to say, but when I reply that it is all about the diet, they look like I popped their birthday balloon.

Losing fat is all about the diet! The diet, the diet, the diet! (Picture me jumping up and down while yelling)

When I talk to them about their diet, I generally finish up the conversation by asking them to record their current diet for a few days and let me look it over. And you know what I get? Crickets.

People want the body, but they don't want to do the work that comes along with eating right. They don't want to plan meals, weigh and measure them out, carry around food, cook, etcetera because it's time consuming, and, it's hard.

Don't get me wrong. It's not child birth. It's not Mt. Everest. But it's not fun. It's not sexy. I mean, if Lady was trying to cut a few pounds she would not have been slurping up spaghetti with the Tramp without weighing it to the nearest gram and busting out her "My Fitness Pal" and screaming at him that she couldn't share that noodle because SHE HADN'T WEIGHED IT!

Okay, I'm being dramatic. It's not that bad and I don't suffer. However, I do not enjoy cooking, but I make myself do it at least twice a week. I love pizza and gas station food, but I don't eat them that often. My goals are more important right now than my "don't want to" or "I wanna's".

Discipline is just choosing between what you want now and what you want most.

If you want to reach your physique goals, you have to decide that's what you want most.

***Affiliate link*** because I am an Amazon Associate they give me a little thank you gift of a few pennies if you shop through my link. The price is the same for you as if you just went to straight to Amazon. Even if you don't want to buy a food scale through Amazon,  use my link and buy something you would normally buy, ok? And then I can write in my YMJ that someone shopped through my link and earned me a penny for my thoughts. :)

Friday, October 17, 2014

A Day In The Tummy Of Doodleturtle

A lot of our athletes ask me what I personally eat so I recently tracked my food via pictures for a day. Here ya go, a day in the tummy of Doodleturtle.

I started off this day coaching morning classes so I grabbed coffee on the way out the door. Black, yum! When I got back home, I fixed oatmeal with peanut butter and raisins and took my vitamins. Oh, and more coffee!

Before heading back out I ate a huge plate of chicken, veggies and rice and after coaching the CrossFit Kids class, I needed a little Snickers! After my workout I crammed in a tuna and sweet potato mash! Delicious!

Later that night at home, I had chicken fajita and more sweet potato with protein powder pudding (with PB and bananas) for dessert!

I don't like cooking and these meals are pretty simple. A few hours of baking and crockpotting (is that a word?) and my food prep is basically done for the week.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Mobility and face smacks

I was going to write about how to make this super difficult, super expensive massage tool, but then, something exciting happened and I changed my mind. <nearly all of the above was sarcasm>

First, to make the massage tool. Take a long sock, put two lacrosse balls in it, tie. Done. Use it to loosen up all those tight spots like lats and hip flexors.

Every other month we take new athletes into our beginner program and teach them the ways of the CrossFitter. Last night was wall ball night. I loathe wall balls. I'm short and I'm legally blind in one eye so depth perception is a small problem. However, I'm getting better at them and don't generally cry anymore if I have to do them.

The Scene: a bunch of newbie CF'ers who are awed and inspired by me, their CF coach. In the two weeks they've been with us, I've shown them how to squat, how to press, how to do pull ups, how to deadlift and double under. And I made each look easy. And now they wait with baited breathe to see these mystical, magical wall balls.

I approach the ball and square up to the target. I lift the ball, perform a beautiful squat and throw. The 14# ball hits the 10 foot Rogue target with a solid thump and begins its descent. My arms go up to receive the ball. I take a breathe to solidify my core. I close my hands around the ball right as it..


Now, if you CrossFit, you knew this was coming, right?

Now, I'm no longer super awesome Coach in their eyes. I'm that doofus that smacked her face.

Oh, if you want to make the super awesome mobility tool, you can purchase Lacrosse Ballat

**affiliate link included**

Monday, October 13, 2014

Confused and unable to understand

About 4 months ago a cute little puppy found us. We had zero intentions of having a dog, but he was so cute. So we have a dog, and he's great. The problem, he's a mutt. Tell someone your dog is a mutt and they just can't comprehend. Labradoodle? They get. Chorkie? They get. Mutt? Not so much.
So I'm fixing this problem, here we go.

Pre Today Conversation related to E's Heritage

Random Person- Oh, he's so cute! What is he?
Me- Oh, he's just a mutt.
Random Person- (Confused look on face, unable to comprehend the term mutt)
Me- (annoyed)

Today and Future Conversations related to E's Heritage

Random Person- Oh, he's so cute! What is he?
Me- Oh, thank you! He's a German Boxador Hound Shepherd
Random Person- (Confused look on face, unable to comprehend the designer breed)
Me- (entertained)

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Is it normal to be this excited about trash pick up?

Up until the last three months, we've not had trash pick up at our house (that's ten years y'all!).  But in August, I had had enough of having to haul our trash to the dump ourselves.

I know it seems ridiculous, but every Sunday night as I drag the can to the curb, I get as giddy as a kid the night before Christmas! It's so magical! It just disappears!

Seriously, I don't think you understand the amount of joy I feel.

Saturday, October 11, 2014

I hate warming up..

I hate mobility work. I hate warming up. I have to make myself do it because, somewhere deep inside, I know it's good for me and it makes me perform better. I was already having trouble getting focused to lift today and wanted to be finished ASAP because we were heading out of town once I finished. Don't get me wrong, I love to lift (lifting's my favorite!- Will Ferrell voice), I just wanted to START NOW and GET DONE! Considering my rep scheme today had me hitting 90% of my squat for a double in 6 minutes, not warming up was out of the question.

So I made a deal with myself, I could listen to a podcast I had been looking forward to while I warmed up. I rode the bike, did some PVC work, hit the Rumble roller and did some light weight squats. 15 minutes later, I was good to go! Maybe this idea would help someone else in my shoes, who, ahem, isn't a spring chicken, and hates to warm up.

**Disclaimer, the above link is an affiliate link**

Friday, October 10, 2014

So, I think I'm smart and funny...

So, I think I'm smart and funny and that people will be completely charmed by my wit and wisdom. But then I remember that I'm also a complete dork and only a handful of people really get my humor. But I love reading other people's blogs and would like to give it a go. Stay tuned!  3-2-1-Go!